新概念閱讀："分開一段時間"讓關系更加緊密

There are times when a relationship reaches a point where one or both partners feel the need for some space and want a break from each other, believing that a break will do the relationship good. Can taking time apart from each other help your relationship or is taking a break simply a way to avoid certain issues that will still be there waiting for you when you get back together?

有人說時間是治愈一切情感傷痛的良藥。而對于夫妻或戀人來說，時間卻不是特效藥，一定要遵照醫(yī)囑，這樣才能在平凡生活中尋找到幸福感！ 有時候，當一段關系到達一定的程度，夫妻或戀人都會需要一些個人的空間，這時他們就會想要彼此分開一段時間。他們認為這樣的方式能使兩人的關系更加緊密。而分開一段時間真的能促進兩人的關系嗎？或者這種方式只是兩個人為了逃避一些問題，而當他們再次相處時，問題卻依然存在。

First Tip: Do not use Breaks as a quick fix.
竅門一： 不要把“時間”當作特效藥

Every relationship varies and it is important that every couple understands that taking time apart is not a substitute for fixing or solving problems, because if you part when you are having problems, they will be waiting for you when you meet again- so it is essential that you talk about your issues first before you decide a break is needed and best for the relationship. Many get scared and paranoid when their partner asks for some time alone because they fear that their partner may not love them anymore or will not come back. Though it is always possible for your partner to change their mind during the break and decide not to continue with the relationship, there is no need to fear taking the break, because the two of you would eventually have broken up anyway, if your partner was already thinking of doing so before- so it is inevitable.

每段夫妻或戀愛關系都有差異。所以，每對夫妻或戀人都應該了解，分開一段時間并不意味著兩人關系得到鞏固或問題得到解決。因為，問題會一直存在，無論是兩人分開還是再次走在一起。因此，在確定分開一段時間之前，找對方聊聊是非常有必要的，這對兩人關系也是有好處的。 許多夫妻或戀人會誠惶誠恐，當他們的伴侶提出需要獨處一段時間。他們害怕對方不再愛他們了，或者不愿再回來。盡管，這段時間內(nèi)你的伴侶會思考是否愿意繼續(xù)這段關系，但你也沒有必要害怕分手。因為，如果你的伴侶早就考慮好這個問題，分開也就無法回避免的了。

A Break can help you re-discover your Individual self.
分開一段時間是為了重新認識自我。

Many times, one or both people in a relationship will lose themselves in some way or form and will begin to feel stress and resentment in the relationship, even though it may not be about their partner personally. In every relationship, couples will compromise their differences to keep things healthy and happy and in making these compromising and changes, you both have to let go of a part of yourselves in order to compromise your differences. Sometimes this happens so often, that one or both of you will feel like you have completely lost yourselves and will feel stressed and resentment towards each other, even though it has nothing to do with any of you in particular. Relationships can get so deep- and you both can connect as 'one 'so intensely that you neglect yourselves as individuals, and in order to re-discover yourselves, there will need to be some time apart from each other. Remember, you need to be whole as an individual first in order to be whole together as a couple, and time apart is best if one or both of you feel like you need to get back in touch with your individuality.

很多時候，每個人會在一段關系中發(fā)現(xiàn)迷失了自我，或者背負壓力、滿懷怨恨，而這并不是針對伴侶個人。在每段關系中，為了使彼此關系健康幸福地發(fā)展，雙方需要為彼此生活中的差異而妥協(xié)。而面對妥協(xié)和改變，雙方都必須要放棄自己堅持的那一部分。 這種情況時常發(fā)生，你們會發(fā)現(xiàn)自己完全失去了自我，彼此心力憔悴和心懷怨恨。這也并不是針對你個人。 只有當兩個人合二為一時，彼此的關系才能如膠似漆的發(fā)展。這就需要你能暫時忽略自己，并重新發(fā)現(xiàn)自我，那么就需要與對方分開一段時間。請記住，作為個人，你首先必須是完整的，這樣才能讓你們的關系完整。而如果你覺得你需要尋找內(nèi)心的自我，分開一段時間是最好的選擇。

Slow down the Pace to learn more about each other.
放慢速度，充分了解彼此。

Some couples get so excited when they enter a relationship, that everything moves so fast, which can get stressful, pressuring and scary, in which a break is then a good idea as well. Taking time apart can help a relationship build a better bond because you will both replenish yourselves during the break and will then be able to give the relationship the efforts and attention needed to keep it healthy. If you are afraid that you will lose the relationship if you take a break, just remember that you would have broken up later anyway- not because of the break, but because you grew apart, had irreparable issues or maybe your partner (or you) just wanted to move on. So do not fear what is not in your control. Just stay calm and see what good a break can do for both of you and your relationship. Besides, you both owe it to yourselves to get back in touch with your individualities and learn more new things about yourself, so that you will be able to teach your partner more about you- and the more you know about each other, the more you will understand your differences and will be able to build the connection that works best for the both of you.

有些夫妻在開始一段關系時非常興奮。所以，一切都發(fā)展得很快。而這樣速度會讓人產(chǎn)生壓力和害怕的情緒。因此，分開一段時間也是不錯的方式。因為分開一段時間能鞏固兩人的關系，兩個人都能在這段時間充實自我，兩個人都能為了保持健康的相處方式而付出努力和投入精力。即便你害怕分開一段時間會讓你失去對方，那么你的害怕也是多余的，因為你們最終了會分開。這并不是因為時間使你們分開，而是你們之間或許存在不可彌補的問題，又可能是對方（或者你）想開始新的生活。因此，不要害怕你無法控制的事情。并且，你們彼此都需要與回歸自我的內(nèi)心去發(fā)現(xiàn)了解自我，這樣才能使對方更加了解你。你們彼此了解越多，才能更好地理解彼此的存在地差異，只有這樣建立起的關系才能使彼此幸福長久。


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